Oh Snap: The Current Landscape of Baby Clothing and the Need for Change

Leading up to the arrival of our daughter, Dylan, my wife would proudly show me all of the tiny outfits Dylan was going to get to wear.   There were outfits for 0-3 months, 3-6 months, 6 months etc. There were shirts, shorts, jumpers, onesies and more - which snapped or zipped (or neither). I was just happy that she had clothes which was one less thing for us to buy (that statement held true -- for about never -- it was never a true statement).

I always thought that changing the diaper was going to be the most frustrating,  traumatic part of fatherhood.  Nay.  Snapping the pajamas of an infant/baby is the most frustrating, traumatic part for the following reasons:

1. There are a lot of snaps to snap.   Snaps are everywhere.  There are so many silvery snaps that I feel like I am dressing my daughter for a Sons of Anarchy themed Daddy and me class.  
2. The snaps are not easy to find in the dark. I have been instructed by my wife that the lights should be off while getting the baby ready for bed.  This makes snapping little snaps even more challenging.  
3.  Miss a snap.  Miss the snap tucked underneath the right thigh of your baby, start over (for you Monopoly players = go to jail, don't pass go, don't collect $200).  
4. The process repeats itself.  Diaper after diaper; snap, unsnap, snap, unsnap. 

I plead with my wife to choose more zipper outfits.  Apparently snaps are better.  I tell her my fingers hurt.  She proceeds to recite the following  Ben Stiller monologue from Happy Gilmore (which by the way is a 20 year old film):

Baby clothes designers of the world (I believe that is an official title) -- Why not --

• Less snaps? 
• Glow in the dark snaps? 
• Magnets?  

If one of the above exists, I need to know about it immediately.  

Time to sanitize some bottles.  

Anything But Anything But Law

Once again, I have taken a blogcation -- failing to publish a post in almost a year.  One fan of the site wrote me an emotional email several months ago about how he was struggling being productive at work without a new K-Cup recommendation.  Another fan emailed me everyday for 3 months begging for a new post.  As you probably know, those two previous statements were both lies.  

Although there are no posts to show for it, I have had my fair share of beer and K-Cups over the last year.  In addition to indulging in beer and K-Cups, one very important life-changing event occurred during my blogcation -- I became a Dad.  Laney and I welcomed our daughter Dylan Sage into the world on April 7, 2016.  If you are interested in catching up on my daughter's journey so far, head over to Laney's blog.  

Parenthood is a lot of things.  Sure there is the lack of sleep, diaper changes, crying (baby and parent), whining (baby and parent), swaddling (baby -- stray jacket for parent) and feedings (baby and if there is time, parent).  Those things I expected. 

What I have found fascinating is the business of babies -- and it is a big business.  The conversations I have had with other new Dads is quite amusing.  "Hey -- What stroller are you guys going with?"  "We are going with the Citi Mini GT because its lightweight."  "Yeah, we liked that one too, but went with the UPPAbaby because our friend said it was easier to store things."  

There is a chair for this and a toy for that.  We have four different chairs that bounce, rock, swing, and do a combination of all of the above.  Dylan is four months old.  This may seem excessive, but all purchased/acquired out of desperation.  The baby industry knows that parents will buy what is necessary to survive.  Imagine the Discovery channel's Naked and Afraid but the producers give you a Buy Buy Baby gift card and let you buy one thing to keep your baby happy.  

With a newfound motivation to creatively write more, I have added a new category to the site -- Dad Things -- where I will share reviews of products purchased for baby Dylan, stories, and more.  

See you next year.  

Josh